Why Mental Health Isn’t About “Getting Your Life Together”—And Why That’s Okay

Hey, you. Yeah, you—the one who's juggling a million things, pushing yourself harder than you should, and still wondering if everyone else has life figured out while you're barely keeping it together. Guess what? You’re not alone. And more importantly, you're not supposed to have your life all together.

Let's be real for a sec: If anyone tells you they have it all figured out, they’re probably lying, or at the very least, using a filter. Mental health is messy, it’s real, and it’s something we all navigate differently. And if you’re out there thinking “Oh my god, I’m so broken, why can’t I just get my shit together?”—take a deep breath and let me remind you: You’re not broken. You’re human. And being human means going through the good, the bad, and all the moments that fall in between.

So let’s dive into this, shall we? Let’s talk about why the whole “getting your life together” idea is overrated, and why it's time to reframe how we think about mental health and personal growth.

Mental Health Isn’t About “Fixing” You, It’s About Living With You

First off, let’s get this straight. If you think the goal of mental health is to completely “fix” yourself and never feel out of balance or stressed again, I need you to stop. Like, stop right now. That’s not the goal. The goal is to get to a place where you can live with yourself—flaws, quirks, struggles, and all.

Think about it. If life was all about being perfect, we'd all be robots. And let me tell you, no one wants to be a robot. Robots don’t feel, they don’t cry, and they definitely don’t laugh at their own awkwardness (which, let’s be honest, is basically 80% of what makes life fun).

Instead, mental health is about building the tools to handle life’s chaos when it hits. It’s learning how to dance through the storm rather than wishing the rain would stop. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re wading through quicksand. Other days, you’ll feel like you can conquer the world. It’s all part of the ride.

Let’s Talk About Perfectionism (AKA Your Worst Enemy)

If you're anything like me (and many of the high-achievers I work with), perfectionism is a constant companion. It’s the voice in your head that tells you you’re not doing enough, working hard enough, or being good enough. Well, here’s a little secret: Perfectionism is a liar.

I get it. You want to excel. You want to do well. But guess what? You don’t have to have everything perfect to be worthy. I promise you that. If you’ve ever stayed up late working on something, only to feel like it still isn’t good enough, or if you’ve held off on doing something because you fear failure or judgment—you're not alone. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, and it’s okay to fail.

Failure doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re trying. It means you’re human. It means you’re living—and that's what matters.

The Secret Sauce to Healing? Laughing Through the Mess

Now, here’s where we have some fun. If you’re someone who can’t laugh at the mess of life, then we need to talk. Mental health is hard. Healing is hard. And sometimes, it sucks. But you know what makes it a little easier? Humor.

I’m not talking about making jokes to brush things under the rug or pretending everything’s okay when it’s not. I’m talking about embracing the absurdity of it all. Like that time you tried to meditate, and instead, you spent 10 minutes thinking about what’s for dinner. Or when you started journaling about your feelings and ended up writing about how much you love your pet instead. (Don’t even lie, it happens.)

Humor can be a lifeline. It’s a reminder that we don’t have to take ourselves too seriously. You can be a work-in-progress and still find moments of joy, laughter, and connection. In fact, those moments might just be the key to your healing process.

Embracing the Journey, Not the Destination

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s this: You’re allowed to be in the messy middle. Life is not about a destination; it’s about the journey. It’s about learning how to hold yourself through the ups and downs, and finding peace in the chaos. It’s about showing up, even on the days when you feel like you can’t.

The idea of having everything together all the time is an illusion. Life doesn’t work like that. And frankly, it’s way more fun when it doesn’t. When you allow yourself to be imperfect, to stumble and fall, and to laugh at your mess—that’s when the magic happens.

So the next time you feel like you’re “falling apart” or that you’re the only one who doesn’t have it all together, just remember this: You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re exactly where you need to be.

And hey, if you need a little reminder, grab my poetry book Poems for When You’re Falling Apart (and Still Showing Up). It’s full of messy, raw, and funny insights into the healing process. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll walk away feeling like you’re more than enough—just as you are.

Final Thoughts

Mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about accepting yourself as a work-in-progress, navigating the highs and lows, and finding joy in the journey. It’s about laughing through the tough stuff, because life doesn’t need to be serious all the time.

So, take a deep breath. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to “get your life together.” Instead, focus on showing up for yourself, no matter how messy that looks. You’ve got this.

Now, go ahead and share this with someone who needs to hear it. Because if you’re struggling with this, chances are, someone else is too.

Let’s make mental health cool, let’s embrace the mess, and let’s all show up as our messy, real selves.

🩵

Sarah